I'm 35 and I've had depression and anxiety as far back as I can remember. I was officially diagnosed when I was 17. There have been good years and there have been not so good ones...this year has been a not so good one. Have you ever had that feeling of just wanting to give up because it all just seems like it's too much trouble to keep on trying? I envy those who never have to deal with those feelings, I truly do. I've had that feeling way too many times this year and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of being sad, angry, hopeless, and just outright tired!
Today and over the past few weeks I have been very angry - for no apparent reason - angry at the world. Anything and everything pisses me off and most anyone that talks to me gets a pissed off response from me. I finally got in to a psychiatrist and he told me that some people exhibit these symptoms when they are taking certain anti-depressants and are having adverse side effects to them. If Dr's had increased that particular medication I could've become homicidal on it. I was astonished! No medication has ever affected me this way but I knew something was wrong. I just didn't know what. I honestly have no control over my anger.
Today Steve, my husband, asked why I was in our room reading instead of being in the living room with everyone. I told him that I am just being too mean to be around everyone. He told me "You just need to have self control." Ummmm, hello!!! I have no self control right now when it comes to my anger. And the kids don't understand that. Obviously he doesn't either because he was admonishing me about how I was talking to them in front of them.
I will be relieved and happy when they get my meds straightened out.
No comments:
Post a Comment